A quiz we can enjoy...

Finally ESPN has given nerds the one power rankings they actually enjoy doing. Here you can find ESPN's GM-Rank quiz. I'm discussing it with my friend Jon, and past the top five and bottom five, it's pretty difficult. Here's how mine came out:

1) Billy Beane, Oakland Athletics - Call it a boner, he uses what money he has wisely and his teams compete year after year. I'm not sure how to explain the A's seemingly .900 winning percentage in the second half of any given season, but Beane probably has something to do with that, too.
2) Terry Ryan, Minnesota Twins - Incredible player development, really. He spotted Liriano while SABEAN was too busy with Merkin Valdez ("Where are they now?" candidate, I'm sure) and also got the most dominant reliever in the AL the past three years in Joe Nathan. Mauer, Morneau, and Santana are all products of the Twins system, and those three players might be in the top five at their respective positions. Not to mention players like Michael Cuddyer and Brad Radke, but also guys like Jason Kubel (maybe), Matt Garza, Pat Neshek and J.D. Durbin. What Ryan has done with very little money is pretty incredible.
3) Larry Beinfest, Florida Marlins - Ha. The Marlins are my favorite NL team and have such an incredible base of players it's astounding; they have THREE starting pitcher spots held by players under the age 23 in Scott Olsen, Anibal Sanchez, and Josh Johnson, while the fourth spot occupied by a 25 year old named Dontrelle Willis. They have perhaps the second best hitter in the majors in Miguel Cabrera, a 22 year old shortstop in Hanley Ramirez who put up a .480 slg% in his rookie year in that park. And then Jeremy Hermida, Mike Jacobs, Dan Uggla, and of course former White Sox duo Miguel Olivo and Joe Borchard.
4) Theo Epstein, Boston Red Sox - He spends his money well...which can be said for maybe three GMs on this list. Cashman and maybe Minaya are the others.
5) Mark Shapiro, Cleveland Indians - Highest differential in their actual W/L and their pythagorean W/L records the last two years. I'm not so high on their pitching, as they don't really have that 22 year old guy thorwing 98. Sabathia is still young, and I did expect something productive from him last year, but he's going to need to stay healthy, you can't possibly not be scared by that mans size.
6) Brian Cashman, New York Yankees
7) Kenny Williams, Chicago White Sox - Oh Kenny. Kenny's success as a GM, to me, relies on one deal. If they White Sox can somehow figure out the biggest question mark in the major leagues in Javier Vazquez, then this deal won't be too terrible because Vazquez could be a great pitcher. His peripherals year after year are quite good; 7.8 k/9, 2.40 bb/9, and he's topped 200 innings six out of the last seven years. What the White Sox gave up might only be Mike Cameron, but he could be Eric Davis. If Chris Young ends up being the latter and his ceiling really is that high, this Kenny would drop down in this list. The Thome deal was great, especially because he got Gonzalez back. He recognized some sort of talent in Dye, and shouldn't get credit for a career year, but ten million for two years with an option? With the contracts being signed this offseason? That's a great move.
8) Bob Melvin, Milwaukee Brewers - I liked the Brewers a whole lot better going into 2006 than I do going into 2007.
9) John Schuerholz, Atlanta Braves
10) Kevin Towers, San Diego Padres
11) Dave Dombrowski, Detroit Tigers
12) J.P. Ricciardi, Toronto Blue Jays
13) Walt Jocketty, St. Louis Cardinals - It's at this point where I discovered I found no redeeming qualities in any of the following GMs.
14) Dan O'Dowd, Coloradio Rockies - A huge disparity between where he's ranked, where I see him ranked, and why he ranks that way, right? O'Dowd has had terrible teams with terrible contracts, but his team now saves him in my mind. Helton was a bad deal (although maybe not so much now), but he's still a productive player. The Denny Neagle and Mike Hampton deals were so fucking terrible, it's hard to give him any credit. But right now he has Helton at first, Troy Tulowitzki at SS, Garrett Atkins at third with Ian Stewart on the way, Matt Holliday in left and Brad Hawpe in right. In that park that's a pretty talented offense. Apparently, O'Dowd also has so much pitching he can trade away his best starter in 2006 Jason Jennings. Taveras, while a horrible hitter, is quite the defender...and that is one large ass center field.
15) Pat Gillick, Philadelphia Phillies - Only one year into the job and he hasn't ruined their chances yet, saved by Chicago Cub GM Jim Hendry (much, much lower) with the Soriano contract, Gillick could have a big year next offseason. He's got an incredible base of young players with Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Cole Hamels, Jimmy Rollins and maybe Shane Victorino, which is a lot more than many other teams can say. If he maintains those players and can add some actual pitching talent, they should be quite good.
16) Jon Daniels, Texas Rangers - Like Gillick except not old and bad. He's got a young team with good players and some pitching prospects (Jon Danks and Thomas Diamond). If he keeps throwing 100 million at pitchers like Zito, he'll be out of a job.
17) Ned Colletti, Los Angeles Dodgers
18) Omar Minaya, New York Mets - Another big disparity between where he ends up and where I put him. He was bad in Montreal and everyone seems to forget he jumped ship to the Mets when they moved. He also thought about trading for Sam Sosa but the Orioles beat him to it.
19) Tim Purpura, Houston Astros
20) Josh Byrnes, Arizona Diamondbacks - Ummm...who is Josh Byrnes?
21) Dave Littlefield, Pittsburgh Pirates - Jason Bay is probably a top five outfielder in the NL and is signed through 2009, making roughly 5 million a year. Gary Matthews Jr. is MAYBE a top 30 outfielder in the AL and will be making 10 million a year through 2011 when he'll turn 36.
22) Andrew Friedman, Tampa Bay Devil Rays - See 20
23) Dayton Moore, Kansas City Royals
24) Jim Hendry, Chicago Cubs - Eight years is too long for anyone, let alone for a career .325 on base left fielder at 30 years old. ESPN tells me $291.5 million dollars of committed contracts were signed this year for the Cubs. Good god.
25) Wayne Krivsky, Cincinnatti Reds - Anyone who likes Juan Castro as much as this fucktard deserves to be one of the worst thought of GMs in the game.
26) Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles -
27) Bill Stoneman, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Steve Finley, Orlando Cabrera, Gary Matthews Jr, an apparent refusal to play position prospects....there aren't many other things to make a GM bad.
28) Jim Bowden, Washington Nationals - Haha...Bowden.
29) Bill Bavasi, Seattle Mariners - Not only does this guy fucking suck at being intelligent, he's one odd looking guy, too. Huge, bald, with that 30-something chin goatee, a tool across the board. First Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson (the latter of which wasn't so bad0, then Carl Everett....then the recent trade for Jose Vidro, and the glaringly apparently lack of any player development. Two defense-first middle infielders in Yuniesky Betancourt and Jose Lopez, "toolsy" outfielders like Adam Jones and Jeremy Reed, and a bunch of horrible, horrible pitchers like Joel Piniero, Ryan Franklin, and Gil Meche. Were it not for the Japanese market and potential pitching savior in Felix Hernandez, this team might rate as the franchise in the worst position now and for the future.
30) Brian Sabean, San Francisco Giants - The man responsible for 755 to inevitably be broken. I honestly believe that had the Giants not signed Barry Bonds this year, no major league team would've signed him. At the time, there was really no fit where he was seen as possibly fitting in. Besides San Francisco, of course. Sabean is also responsible for trading Joe Nathan and Francisco Liriano to the Twins for a .320 on base catcher with no pop. He also resigned Pedro Feliz to a 5 million dollar deal for '07. And traded for Steve Finley. And signed Armando Benitez for two years.

Incredibly, these are the "Real-time rankings from across SportsNation" says ESPN. I guess I should give a SPOILERS warning here, if you're interested in how people "across SportsNation" think:

1) Billy Beane
2) John Schuerholz
3) Omar Minaya
4) Theo Epstein
5) Brian Cashman
6) Kenny Williams
7) Walt Jocketty
8) Dave Dombrowski
9) Terry Ryan
10) Mark Shapiro
11) Ned Colletti
12) Kevin Towers
13) Pat Gillick
14) Bill Stoneman
15) J.P. Ricciarddi
16) Brian Sabean
17) Larry Beinfest
18) Jim Hendry
19) Tim Purpura
20) Doug Melvin
21) Josh Byrnes
22) Jon Daniels
23) Wayne Krivsky
24) Dayton Moore
25) Jim Bowden
26) Bill Bavasi
27) Dan O'Dowd
28) Andrew Friedman
29) Mike Flanagan
30) Dave Littlefield